I of course have been out of the loop in the music industry, as most of you know. I had no idea that someone put my feelings into words for a beautiful song. I searched the internet to find this song and listen to it. I found a you tube video of her singing it on a Oprah show. I hope the link worked. If not search you tube for the song and watch it. I probably watched it over and over at least 5 times. I LOVE this song. I have to get it. I WANT this song. If I could only tell Melissa “Thank you”. I would love to hug her and cry. I am so glad she wrote this song. It put me back in my place. Why I fought so hard to live.

Sometimes you get so caught up in life you forget where you were a year ago. I can’t believe it has been a year. I remember laying in the hospital bed dreaming of this day. The day that I can walk, run, hold my husband, hold my children, all of the things that a “normal” mom and wife does everyday. This day is here. Wow. I am still writing my book. I am at a standstill right now though. I wish I was good with words. I could say so much but putting it into sentences that make sense is so hard for me. Is there people out there that could write as I talk to them? I probably couldn’t afford to pay someone like that but hey you never know right? Just another dream I have.

Lately I have been so busy with the day to day things that I forget about what really needs to be done. Why I am HERE. I fought so hard and I need to remember why. I need to remind myself that Heavenly Father saved me for a reason. I just wish he would bop me on the head and tell me what exactly it is. I know that I have touched many lives but how? You know when you feel like there is something that you are suppose to do but you don’t know what that is? I am there right now. I was told yesterday that my absolute favorite Aunt Dawn was diagnosed with skin cancer. There are a lot of details that I am going to leave out for her privacy, but she has cancer. I cried so hard. I love her so much. I didn’t want anyone else to get this awful sickness. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t want her to have this. It isn’t fair. She has lived her life serving her family and others. Why her? I love her so much. All I can do it take it day by day. Just like I did when I was sick.

I remember praying to Heavenly Father telling him to take over. It is in his hands now. I need to remember that he is in control not me. I also found out that my Grandpa’s son in Colorado has brain cancer and they think it spread to his lungs. NO! I just don’t want anyone to get this terrible terrible sickness. I want to go and hold my Aunt. I want to be there for her. How can I though. I have so much going on in June. What is important here. I have Ricky’s scout camp, Cameron’s PE at the University, and my church calling. I just want to spend the whole month with her. I want to be there when she gets out of surgery, when she hears any news. I need to stop writing. Here are the lyrics to that beautiful song but you need to listen to the song too.